Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Coal under pressure equals Diamond

It is 2 am on a Tuesday morning.  I am struggling.  I feel overwhelmed, discouraged and like a failure.  How can my body betray me so badly to cause autoimmuity which nearly killed me once with toxic mega colon in 2007 aged 24.....

On my 25 birthday (July 2007) I had a nurse specialist say to me "Happy Birthday Cat, we didn't think you would make it to see your 25th!"

I pretended to be ok with this comment but silently it tore me apart.  I had been that close to death? really? Then I questioned my consultant colorectal surgeon who operated on me for 5 hours overnight emergently.  He said I had had 12 hours to live and even with the surgery it was questionable if I would surive.  I was 24, newly turned 25 and only 18months married, how do you digest those details????Add in that I had immigrated to the opposite side of the world 6 months prior completely well... I had no support network, just my husband and some very new friends.  I was shocked, disgusted, angry, overwhelmed, frustrated and silent.

I called on my faith and as I lay in an Intensive Care bed I called out to God as a backslider in faith.  I didn't even know if my pleas would be heard, I thought it was too little too late.  I remember crying with my mum (she flew to Australia to Ireland) and saying my prayers aren't working, God doesn't hear me.  She assured me he did and he heard all the many prayer requests around the world for me.  I will admit to feeling discourage but not defeated.  I still FULLY believed I would LIVE FULLY. 

Gradually as I was taught to take one step after another ( i lost 70% muscle and had to learn to walk again), I realised that God was infact directing my rehab.  I was fighting back under guidance.  I WOULD WIN!!!  My purpose would be to inspire many others to fight back againt Autoimmunity.  We can SHINE BRIGHT LIKE A DIAMOND!!!


1 comment:

  1. Can't even begin to imagine what your life has been but I love your spirit.

    You have chosen a great logo.

    I believe you will shine like a diamond.